


If Not To Apologise

by AngelWithAStory



Series: Marvel Dad!AU [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Young Avengers
Genre: Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Established Relationship, Family, Love, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Recovery, Regaining Memories, Young Love, make shift family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1591235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelWithAStory/pseuds/AngelWithAStory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Bucky went off the grid for a few years after fighting his way free from HYDRA's control but now he thinks it's time to go home; to go see Steve. Steve who has a nice little apartment now with his adopted half-kree, half-skrull so and genius boyfriend. Steve who hasn't moved on as much as he thought.</p><p>-----<br/><i>It's been years since the Winter Soldier's shown his face. And years more since he exchanged any words with his oldest friend.</i><br/><i>He's been too busy. He's been too preoccupied.</i><br/><i>There's only so much information you can find in textbooks and biased government-authorised biographies.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Man Called [Insert Name Here]

**Author's Note:**

> HELL YEAH I'M BACK WITH A VENGENCE  
> except it's not much of a vengence as it's late and I've been ill the last two days but I'M STILL BACK SO TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!!
> 
> also, a few apologies in advance:  
> 1) I have no fucking clue how to write Bucky I'm so sorry if I screwed him up royally.  
> 2) this is fudging my previous stony parent!AU with Teddy as I have literally been obsessed since I went to go see CA:TWS and I just _had_ to write it  
>  3) most of this is based off my headcanon that after CA:TWS Bucky actually travelled and spent a lot of time rediscovering who he was in Europe and places like that so yeah  
> 4) I've been marathoning Avengers Assemble and Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes so It's not the most accurate of interpretations.  
> 5) Finally, I am 100% totally aware that I am merging movie with comic but I don't give a fuck because even though it makes NO sense I still wanted to do and I'm happy with this so shush

It's been years since the Winter Soldier's shown his face. And years more since he exchanged any words with his oldest friend.

He's been too busy. He's been too preoccupied. 

There's only so much information you can find in textbooks and biased government-authorised biographies.

He's spent these years searching. For information. For answers. 

Ever since he heard that name,

" _Bucky?_ "

“ _Who the hell is Bucky?_ ”

He wanted to know. So he left. 

And he searched. 

He went to every war memorial in Europe, went through any and every archive he could, looking for any _scrap_ of information he could lay his hands- hand -on. 

The more he collected, the more he remembered. First the big stuff (the war, the fall, training, the 107th, his crappy little apartment, _Steve_ ), then he started remembering the smaller things, like the songs sang out of tune in the bars during the war, like how his favourite jacket felt compared to his uniform (both old and new), like how panicked and sick to his stomach he felt whenever Steve got ill (and he remembers feeling that way often), like the way sunlight caught his hair and how they hugged before he left for war. 

He couldn't force the memories, so he took his time. 

Working shifty jobs in seedy bars to pay for rooms in shitty hotels; just to keep going. Just to keep remembering. 

But the more he remembered, the more frequently they haunted him at night. New and improved nightmares began to plague him. 

But the Winter Soldier, or Bucky, or James Barnes, was determined. 

He didn't go back until he had most of the piece to the puzzle of his identity. 

The name 'Bucky' didn't _quite_ fit right on his tongue, but it was feeling more comfortable each day. 

Before he went back, he researched Steve. (Social media was no help whatsoever.) 

It turned out, Steve had switched addresses three times since he was de-frosted. He found the latest one and knew it was time. 

He had to talk to Steve. If not to explain and apologise, then to see his face again. 

 


	2. Seen His Face Before

Steve's apartment wasn't even really an apartment. 

Bucky stood on the street, looking up at the huge building he understood to be Avenger's Tower. 

He carefully was wearing a baggy hoodie, keeping his arm covered and tucking his hands into his pockets. A hat was pulled low over his head and hair. (He'd never really gotten around to getting a hair cut.) 

Of course Bucky knew it was crazy to just go up to the front door. There was no doubt in his mind that there were safety measures in place (most likely extreme ones). 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small group of teenagers walking towards him. 

They didn't look like threats, but you couldn't let your guard down. His hand gripped the small knife he kept in his hoodie pocket and he made sure the gun tucked into his waistband was accessible. 

The group was made up of five teenagers: three male, two female. Two brunettes, two blondes, both one male and female apiece. 

Similar thoughts registered in Bucky's mind, quickly analysing any and all threats the group could possess. 

The blond male was watching him curiously, not threateningly. 

"Do you need some help?" He asked, separating himself from his group, but not by much. 

"I'm fine. Just sightseeing." Bucky replied shortly, looking at the boy's face for a second. 

"Teddy, let's go." The brunet boy said, walking over and gently pulling at the blond's arm. He was slightly shorter than the blond and lithe while the blond seemed more muscular, but not by a lot. 

The blond nodded and let himself be led away. He wrapped his arm around the brunet's shoulders and Bucky felt a pang of an old memory in his chest. 

He'd found Steve, that was enough for today. 

They could talk tomorrow. 

 

 

"Ted? Who was that?" Kate asked when the boys rejoined the group. 

"I- I'm not sure." Teddy said, looking over his shoulder. The man was walking away now. He'd seen his face before _somewhere_. 


	3. Just An Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long one :3

The next day arrived and Bucky stole all his courage as he stood outside Avengers Tower once again. He knew better than to try and force entry, and from the little research he did yesterday, he doubted Tony Stark would leave enough faults in his security for him to sneak in. And it didn't feel right to try and force entry into his...friends? Were they friends still? Either way, he'd rather be invited in than just find a way in. 

There was an intercom by the doors and Bucky silently made his way over. It was still early in the day and not too many people were walking the streets. 

He scanned the small list of names and found the one saying ' _ **S. Rogers, T. Stark & T. Altman**_' in small, familiar writing. 

Bucky pressed the corresponding button, heard a buzzing noise and waited. 

Nerves suddenly threatened to overpower him, but a voice sounded over the intercom before he could do anything. 

" _Hello?_ " Bucky froze. That voice wasn't Steve's voice. At least not how he remembered it. He did press the correct button, right? 

"I'm- I'm looking for Steve. Steve Rogers?" Bucky said into the intercom. There was a slight pause on the other end. 

" _He's not in at the moment_." The voice said. Bucky tried to place it, but the static of the intercom made it slightly difficult. He knew they were male, and young, but that's all he could make out. " _He should be back soon. I'm sorry, but, who...is this?_ " 

Bucky was tempted to lie, but he didn't know who was on the other end of this conversation and he certainly didn't know if they were trustworthy. 

"I-" Bucky began, before loosing his nerve. "It doesn't matter, I'll come back later." 

" _You can wait for him, if you really want to see him._ " The person on the other end offered. " _He shouldn't be long._ " 

There was another buzz and the front door clicked open slightly. Bucky grasped the handle and stepped inside. 

He knew this wasn't a good idea but he 'chickened out' yesterday and he was meant to be a hardened assassin; he could handle himself. His gun was still tucked away and the knife was still hidden in his pocket. Whoever he was speaking to, he could handle it if need be. 

He stood in the lobby, not quite sure what he should do. There was a lift along a wall which was counting down. It reached the ground floor and the doors opened. 

Whoever he was expecting to walk out of the lift, it wasn't the blond teenager from yesterday. 

"Are you the person I was talking to?" He asked, standing in front of Bucky. Bucky nodded once. "I'm Teddy." He hesitantly held out his hand. Bucky took it and they quickly shook hands. 

He still didn't say anything. He was wary and on red alert. 

"Do you want a drink, or something while you wait?" Teddy offered, gesturing to the lift behind him. Bucky quickly weighed the options and nodded. 

Teddy led him into the lift and pressed the button for a floor. He had to scan his hand to be given access. 

The ride was quick and the atmosphere was awkward. 

As soon as they reached the right floor, the doors opened and Teddy made a beeline for the kitchen. 

Bucky stepped out the lift and looked around, taking it in. 

' _well this is a huge step-up from our shitty apartment_.' Bucky thought. His gaze landed on a small picture on a low bookshelf in the hall. It was black and white and showed two people; one dressed in an army uniform, while the other was dressed in the iconic, stars-and-stripes costume that was _still_ ridiculous and the other was him. A small smile crept up on him. 

Steve always was a sap. 

"Do you want a drink? Water? Or maybe a beer? Do you drink beer?" Teddy asked, pulling Bucky from his thoughts. 

"Water is fine." Bucky replied, following the sound of his voice. "Thank you." He added, entering the kitchen. Whoever this kids was, he had manners. And he deserved to have the same treatment. 

Teddy grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to Bucky. 

Bucky took a drink before speaking again. 

"How'd you know Steve?" He asked, studying the boy. There was a lot of just _Steve_ in the way he held himself, his politeness, he even had a similar complexion. 

"Could ask you the same thing." Teddy replied. "He's my dad." He said. Bucky nearly spat out his water at Teddy's bluntness. 

"Steve had kids?" He repeated, getting himself back under control. 

"Sort of. He adopted me after my so-called 'mum' was killed." Teddy said. 

"Sounds like Steve." Bucky admitted, taking another drink. 

"You knew him that well?" Teddy asked, genuinely interested. Bucky nodded again solemnly. 

There was a couple minutes silence. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Teddy said, breaking the silence. Silence as a response. "Why do you want to see him now?" 

"What?"

"Why are you asking to talk to my dad now? You left for years, Bucky. Why now?" Teddy asked tentatively. Bucky was still for a moment, sizing him up. His shoulders slumped and he exhaled deeply. 

"You're smart, kid." Bucky said, a very small smile, _just_ pulling at the corner's of his lips. "What tipped you off?" 

"Dad keeps more than enough pictures of you two around. I saw you yesterday and recognised you." Teddy said, shrugging. Bucky chuckled quietly. 

"Your dad's a massive sap, always has been, always will." Bucky said, the small smile starting to warm. "I would'a thought he'd warned you about me." 

"Tony did. Steve wouldn't hear a bad word against you. Both of them were pretty shell-shocked when you came back." Teddy said. 

"Wait, Tony? Tony Stark?" Bucky repeated. Before Teddy could answer, the lift doors opened. 

"Ted? You still here?" Steve's voice sounded from the hall. 

"Yeah, dad!" Teddy called back, moving to stand in the kitchen doorway. "Someone called for you while you were out." Teddy said, ducking back into the kitchen. Steve followed, going to get a drink. 

"Oh yeah? Who was it?" He asked, wiping the sweat off his brow. He was sweaty from his morning jog and his shirt was clinging to his skin slightly. 

Steve froze in the doorway, his gaze landing on Bucky. 

"Just an old friend." Teddy said quietly. 

Steve didn't even reply, he was so focused on Bucky. The air was tense and silent until Steve just took a few, purposeful strides and pulled Bucky into a bone-crushing hug. 

"Where have you been?" Steve muttered. 

"Remembering." 

"And do you? Remember, I mean?" Steve asked. 

"Yes." Bucky replied, wrapping his arms around Steve. 

Teddy watched them. There was an expression on Steve's face which he hadn't seen for a long time. Like his world was complete again.


	4. Still Always Love Them

The sky was darkening outside his window. 

Teddy Altman leaned over and clicked a button beside his bed. Automatically, curtains were drawn across the window and the lights gave off a warm glow. He looked back at his laptop as a new message popped up on the screen. 

He smiled and typed a reply. 

There was a knock on the door. 

"Ted? Can I come in?" Steve asked. 

"Sure," Teddy replied, sitting up straighter. Steve stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He perched on the edge of Teddy's bed. 

Teddy closed the lid of his laptop and gave his adoptive parent his full attention. 

"Has dad calmed down yet?" Teddy asked, remembering the brief blowout that ensued once Tony got home later that day. 

"Yeah, he's still not too happy with the idea of Bucky staying here." Steve said quietly. "How are you feeling about Bucky staying with us for a while?" 

"I'm feeling better about it that dad does." Teddy said, giving Steve a smile. 

"That's good, son." Steve said, resting his hand on Teddy's knee comfortingly. 

Teddy's smile faltered. 

"Dad, was there... When you and Bucky were in World War Two, were you two....? Were you ever...?" Teddy tried to formulate the right way to put the words but thankfully, Steve understood. 

"Were me and Bucky ever an ' _item_ '?" Steve said, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards. "Officially? No. But I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt and it nearly killed me when I thought I lost him." He admitted, getting a strange nostalgia to his voice. 

"Do you still love him?" Teddy asked. 

"I think I'll always love him, but I'm very happy with Tony, if that's what you're worried about." Steve reassured him. Teddy gave him a sheepish grin. 

"I wasn't really worried-" Teddy began. 

"It's just nice to be reassured, once in a while." Steve finished. "I understand Teddy." He kissed the top of his son's head. "Sometimes you just love someone no matter what happens; you can grow up, even move on, but you still always love them. Like you and Billy." 

Teddy blushed all the way to his roots, making Steve crack up. 

"You know?" Teddy asked in a small voice. 

"Of course we do. And we know he makes you happy so we like him." Steve said. He ruffled Teddy's hair playfully and got up off the bed. "Goodnight, son." 

"Goodnight, dad." Teddy said, getting his blush under control. Steve left the room, shutting the door behind him. Immediately, Teddy opened his laptop and read the message which had popped up while they were talking. 

He wasted no time in telling everything to Billy. 


End file.
